I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
