I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
