oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
