I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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