What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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