While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
