Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the liver wants what the liver wants
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize