Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
