hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
