She said her name was "party"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
