Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
