This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
