I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
