I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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