32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
