That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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