The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
