I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
