she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
