The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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