Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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