I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
