At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
