I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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