Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
