i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
