sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
