I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
50% drunk capacity currently
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
