yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
