It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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