He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
