he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
