U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
