Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
