Are we in a gay sports bar?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
