I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
