who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
