i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
