I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize