super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I met the friendliest cop last night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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