i can't believe i had my finger in that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
