I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
