Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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