I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
