tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
