no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
