your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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