Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
