Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
