two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
