obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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