so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
