I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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