it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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