i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
