So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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