Non-Jews are for practice
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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