She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
nutella sex= disaster
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
